Tough
Erm. I guess adjustment week was really pretty tough. haha. I mean it was pretty shag. I was like typing parade state for only 5 mins before my vision blurred and almost dozed off. But thank God thurs was pretty slack so managed to catch quite some rest.
And I think was confused about how I want to take this batch. Until I feel a bit schizo. Lol. Was really a bit confused about myself.
But above that, encountered some shit bah. Some unfairness or when I detect sth funny. Some things when I encounter I just totally feel uncomfortable and feel like exploding. At one point of time I just wanted to shout.
And then whenever such things happen, I will try my best to ask “So God, what are you trying to do through this? How do you want me to react when I encounter things like that?”
And I would even end up blaming God.
But again and again, I was reminded that “God is for me, not against me.” I so need to realise this. That God is never against me.
I need to pray more when my emotions seem to be taking control of me. One point during fri’s sermon hit me so strongly.
[Genesis 4:6-7] “6 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”
God gave me emotions. But when my emotions are too overwhelming and I’m losing control, I need to stop myself and pray. And really pray for the Spirit to guide me.
I can also feel temptations increasing. Yep. I need to master it.
It’s the same as today when my parents quarrelled. Like they seriously quarrel every cny and it’s so easy to spot the issue. My dad just likes to let out his emotions instead of trying to solve the issue. 
And I totally felt like exploding.
“In your anger, do not sin.”
I think growing is tough. But then I know it’s essential. The price of not growing is really huge.
Word of the week: BOW
The image of bowing before God just kept hanging in my mind for this whole week. God’s yoke is light. I don’t need to do this myself. 
And a few other blessings:
1) I managed to talk to my cousin a bit more. I think I want to build up this r/p. And it’s really great to talk to him.
2) Meet-up with zhu ying and ruoshuang. We almost couldn’t meet up. But really thank God for the time.
3) The chance to see so many hope brothers in tekong now. Haha. It’s quite cool to be able to see hope ppl so often in a day. And special mention to melvin. His faith amazes me. What bruce said is so true about him coming for service after book-out in uniform: He’s secure. Though I don’t book out with fieldpack liao, but you ask me go for service in uniform, I would really think twice.
4) Going for service on friday! I was really quite sad I couldn’t make it cause cny celebration was at first scheduled at night. Turns out to be on fri noon so I made it for service. And I wasn’t late. A great time of meeting God.
5) Surviving 2 emcee tasks in camp within a week. Friends would probably know how tough this is for me. But really thank God for the strength!
Tmr is cny with cg and huang cheng peepx! Yea!
